Once Upon A Time...

In the second festive offering I bring you not one, not two but three traditional fairy tales. These comedy pantomime retellings are from December 1985 and are packed with names familiar to Radio 4 audiences of the time.

Once Upon a Time... was written by Paul Shearer and Nick Symons. Both were ex-Cambridge Footlights with Paul going on to be a comedy performer and Nick mostly on the comedy production side. They had worked together earlier in 1985 on the Radio 4 series Nineteen Ninety-four. Paul’s comedy career was on both TV and radio in shows such as The Russ Abbot Show (BBC1), Gorham and Swift (Radio 2) and as co-writer on If You’re So Clever, Why Aren’t You Rich?  (Radio 4). He is now a property journalist. Nick Symons went on to produce A Bit of Fry and Laurie (BBCtv), became Controller of Comedy for Carlton TV and, from 2002, a freelance producer working on TV shows like TV Burp and Al Murray’s Happy Hour. He died in 2023.

Once Upon a Time ... Cinderella was broadcast at 2330 on Saturday 21 December 1985, the usual late-night comedy slot. In One Ear had just finished its second series the week before, indeed one of the stars of that show, Nick Wilton, played Buttons in this production. Nick regularly appears in panto as the ‘dame’ and this year is in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Festival Theatre in Malvern. Appearing as Cinderella is Helen Atkinson-Wood, from the cast of Radio Active. Chair of Just a Minute, Nicholas Parsons adopts a Noel Cowardesque voice to play a suave Prince Charming. Sounding as if they’ve just stepped out of an I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again sketch as the Ugly Sisters are Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden, with Tim occasionally dropping into his Lady Constance de Coverlet voice. In a nod to I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue there’s a quick game of Mornington Crescent and Late Arrivals. Midweek’s Libby Purves is the Fairy Godmother and Nick Maloney (Son of Cliche and The Fosdyke Saga) is Beamish. Providing other voices, in this case Ted Lowe, Denis Norden and Robin Day, is Rory Bremner, pretty new to the comedy scene at the time and heard that year on Radio 4’s The Colour Supplement.      

Once Upon a Time...Jack and the Beanstalk was broadcast at 2215 on Sunday 22 December 1985. The Today presenters were more than willing to drop their serious image and in this show its Sue MacGregor’s turn as Jack. Peter Jones, one of the regulars on Just a Minute, plays Jack’s Mother, and there’s an impromptu round of the game. Barry Took, of The News Quiz, is Sir Norbert and the Giant. Helen Lederer, another star of In One Ear, is Jill and Rory Bremner is again on hand to play sundry characters and impersonate Johnners, Parky and Prince Charles. Also credited as playing ‘traders, villagers, serfs, kettles etc.’ are the Incredible Bending Bodger Brothers. I assume this is the act usually known just as The Bodgers, who were John Docherty, Gordon Kennedy, Moray Hunter and Pete Baikie, who four years later would be part of Channel 4’s sketch show Absolutely. Fans of the shipping forecast should pay attention about half way through. In this particular show some of the jokes seem to fall flat with the Paris Theatre audience, or maybe they’re just not that funny.

Once Upon a Time...Rumpelstiltskin was broadcast at 1530 on Thursday 26 December 1985. This time the cast features Margaret Howard who has great fun as the Queen, for some reason adopting a t’Yorkshire accent. I wonder if this show made that week’s Pick of the Week? Today presenters John Timpson and, complete with a Geordie accent, Brian Redhead, play the King and Dad respectively. Putting in an appearance as the Pardon the Butler , plus some other roles, is Richard Baker, presenter of Radio 4’s Start the Week and Baker’s Dozen. Hale and Pace, recent stars of Don’t Stop Now – It’s Fundation play DI Broker and DS Bailiff. Sally Grace, a Week Ending regular, is The Storyteller, and very briefly Mrs T, whilst Nigel Rees, another voice from Week Ending and The Burkiss Way and at the time the chairman of Quote...Unquote, hams it up as a very Orish Rumpelstiltskin and other parts.

Music in all three shows is provided by I’m Sorry’s Colin Sell. The producer is Alan Nixon who at one time or another had already worked with many of the performers on shows such as The News Quiz, The News Huddlines, Quote...Unquote, In One Ear, Stop the World, Don’t Stop Now –It’s Fundation, Son of Cliche, In Other Words...The Bodgers and The Fosdyke Saga.